So, yesterday I was rambling around Leigh, when yet another kind stranger felt the need to tell me something which I apparently hadn't realised up-till now.
"Oii! Fat-tayyy!" she bellowed across half a field (She had a voice which sounded like the unholy union between a gorilla and a fog horn).
I looked down at my somewhat cumbersome paunch. "Ee gads!" I announced loudly over the Game of Thrones soundtrack which played in my ears. "I do believe you're right!"
So I thank that pure hearted 14 year old girl and her little group of equal minded angels for pointing out this glaring flaw in my otherwise flawless person. Because we all know that not conforming to a physical standard set by the media and shallow people is worse than anything, even rudeness.
But seriously, taking the piss aside, I've always found it weird how physical "oddities", be they obesity, hair or something as mundane as an 'unsightly' mole, can have someone labelled and mocked. It's apparently acceptable to shout "oi fat-bastard!" or "ginger-pubes!" at someone for these terrible offences, yet you rarely hear of someone being mocked for a truly bad quality such as vanity, hatefulness or eating Marmite.
(I am of course, sidestepping the issue of bigotry, because that's an entirely different kettle of sharks that being a straight white male, I know nothing of)
I've always been overweight, and hey, I got over it awhile ago. I have my issues, but guess what, they're MY issues. I even tried 're-claiming' it once, but it lasted for approximately seven seconds, before I became incredibly self concious about the whole thing and ran to the kitchen to absorb a bucket of knock-off Hagan Dazs and inject cheese into my veins.
There are however some advantages to being overweight, not just an extra bit of warmth and being an excellent pillow.
People expect nothing of you. The thought process seems to be something like 'Oh they're fat, ergo lazy ergo will never actually do anything'. While this sounds terrible, when you fail, no one makes a big deal about it, and when you succeed people seem pleasantly surprised. Another 'perk' of being portly is that people ignore all your other more serious issues. This is perfect for a damaged (oh god...did I actually use that word? Knew I shouldn't have listened to Linkin Park this morning), arrogant, social misfit such as myself.
That last point by the way, links (surprise, surprise) into a significant character in my writing. One of the main protagonists is a young fat boy by the name of Nathan Walker, who, both begins with and develops some serious issues over the course of the plot, which are duly ignored because; "ha! Look at him, he's fat."
On a related note, just because a character shares a single trait (because I felt there were very little overweight, male teenage protagonists) and hails from my hometown, does not mean he is a self insert character. I'd like to think I'm somewhat more grounded and clever than him.
Anyway, whinging over!
