A Disturbingly 'Emo' Post

What is worse than a nightmare?

I can think of only two things;

A good memory forever tainted by the bad times that followed it and the knowledge that you can never have it back.

And the other, is not a memory at all. It is the rampant paths your mind can go down when your all alone. The way you can sit in the dark and torture yourself with all the "what if"'s and "what could have been". The way you can break your own heart just thinking of a rival for that special someones affections. Or the person thats already won them, imagine what that special person thinks of you...and then your 'rival'. Go on, be stupid.

No one can inflict pain on you like yourself. They say the old mantra; "sticks and stones break my bones, but words will never hurt me" to little children when they are victims of bullying. Of course as you get older you realise the truth. Breaking bones hurts, but only for a short amount of time, then where the bone reheals and it is stronger than ever. On the other hand, words infect and fester. They linger like a dormant disease in the system, quietly taking you down from within.

I'm trying to get away from this sort of thinking, I'm trying to instigate change within myself. Become something better and more positive, perhaps even likeable. How is it going so far? I don't hear you asking. I'm exactly the same, but with shorter hair.